Lahey’s last message: Put aside hate & embrace life!

Methuen lost a dogged advocate July 22, with the passing of anti-substance crusader and former City Councilor Phil Lahey. He was 76 years old.

On March 27, he and wife Fran shared on social media that he had been diagnosed with Squamous Cell Lung Cancer. In early June, he was diagnosed with radiation pneumonia and had struggled with pulmonary fibrosis, both side effects of treatments.

On June 13, MethuenLife spoke with Phil – from his ICU hospital bed – as he shared his vision for the Merrimack Valley Prevention and Substance Abuse Program (MVPASAP), the nonprofit he co-founded to educate kids and families and provide resources to addicts and those in recovery. That interview ran in our July issue.

Until the end, Phil was sharing messages of hope and lessons learned with family, friends and social-media followers. On June 11, he posted a video to Facebook where he recounted a life-changing event that altered the way he looked at the world. It was heartfelt and moving, and there was an outpouring of “likes,” “loves” and personal replies. Two days later, MethuenLife asked Phil why he felt it was important to share that message.

“I really just wanted to get people to think about themselves, their attitude and how lucky we are to be alive,” Lahey said.

Phil wanted to make the world – especially Methuen – a better place. We know he’d want his message shared far and wide.

Here’s a transcript of that video.

“Hi guys –

I know Fran has been keeping you updated. But I’m gonna do my own update this time, cuz it’s kind of a tough one. You all know what’s going on. To make a long story short, I’m in the ICU. Things are a lot worse than we thought they were going to be.

They’re giving me high doses of Prednisone. And they’re hoping that that will help my breathing and heart rate and, dealing with that, they give me a year or so. And we’re hoping for that one.

But if the Prednisone doesn’t kick in, then this will be my last stop.

Listen, I want everybody to know. I’m 76 years old. I’ve had an amazing life and I wouldn’t trade a minute.

Something I learned – now this ain’t about my condition. This is about ME.

Ten years ago, Fran came down with cancer. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life. In my heart I thought I was gonna lose her. I made a decision that day, and I’ve kept it – that I would never, ever get mad, angry, pissed off, tell somebody I hate them, don’t like people.

You wanna know why? ‘Cuz every time I had that thought come in, I’d think of the day that I thought I was going to lose Fran and I compare it to the other trivial things and said, ‘Seriously? You’re getting upset about that?’

So this is my message to all of you: Being mad and angry and hateful is exhausting.

Being happy, letting everybody live their own life, just accepting everybody for who they are, I promise you, you will be happy. So if you have family, friends, anybody that you want back into their life, just go up and tell them. It don’t have to be no apology, doesn’t have to be right or wrong, doesn’t have to hash anything out. Just say, ‘You know what? I’d like to be back in your life.’ If they don’t feel that way, who cares?

You did a good thing; you’re gonna feel good.

So, that’s my main message I want to get across to you.

And If for some reason the Prednisone works, I’d still like you to pay attention to this message.”

“If for some reason the Prednisone doesn’t work, you’ve got a preview of my eulogy,” he grinned.

“So, I hope to see you again.”

His family asked that, in lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in Phil’s name to: Merrimack Valley Prevention and Substance Abuse Project, Cheryl Parent, Enterprise Bank, 8 High St. Andover, MA 01810.

To access our July story about Phil and his hopes for MVPASAP, visit MethuenLife.com.